Why I’m Not Writing Today

1. uh…
2. *closes eighteen browser tabs hastily, none of them her WIP*
3. I’m editing!
4. I’m EDITING, okay??
5. …
6. I’m reading Books now
7. I would write, but I can’t find the right font style
8. I’m staring at my manuscript, re-considering my life, and calling it editing
9. there are too many interesting reaction videos to watch on Youtube
10. I could only give it one hour at a time and it’s not enough to ~get into the groove, so I just don’t even start
11. work is a Looming Thing and I can’t focus on anything else
12. pandemic jitters
13. pandemic jitters vol. 2: the panic attack
14. cat on my lap, sorry, gotta pet
15. I started searching for better synonyms of a word, now it’s two hours later and I’m reading about mysterious mountain climbing accidents
16. brain no work, words too hard
17. I’ve started to listen to the third podcast this week that I’ll never finish
18. uh… mood swings
19. video games exist
20. cat is doing cute things, I have to follow her around to take photos
21. gotta clean the apartment suddenly
22. wow my computer is a mess, I really have to organize it right about now!
23. I’m hungry :(
24. I’m too full :(
25. this tea I have is good but it’s not giving me the right mood, youknowwhatimean?
26. “but what if nothing I write is any good though?”
27. “but no one cares anyway”
28. …
29. I’m eating way too many gummy bears, all my hands are full of them, I can’t possibly—
30. my back hurts
31. my fingers are cold
32. I’m trying to make a book cover I’ll never use
33. I’m making a playlist for my characters
34. I’m creating aesthetics for my characters (but graphic design is not my passion so I’m deleting them right away too)
35. I’m dreaming about holding my published book <3
36. sssssh I’m still dreaming about that
37. okay I’m gonna write soon, but first I need to take a shower because that’s where the good dialogues come to me, you know?
38. I keep refreshing Wattpad
39. I keep refreshing WordPress
40. I’m searching for that funny tweet from the other day
41. I’m sending myself the fifth Tasty recipe video about awesome cookies I’ll never bake
42. I’m looking at my site to check if everything looks okay
43. I’m writing a stupid list for my blog
44. I’ve run out of items for that stupid list but I still have to post it!
45. but then maybe after
46. maybe after that I’ll start to write
47. …
48. promise

Hey, and also?
Happy holidays to all of ya. We got here, somehow. Let’s work for a better 2021. Somehow. x)